I seriously don’t know how I got here. I don’t believe myself to be smart enough, or competent enough, to be where I am today.
I can’t even express myself fully in class. I can’t participate in class discussions without feeling that I’m inadequate and without feeling that what I’m saying is right, or is useful. Does it make sense?
I always feel like my thoughts/ideas/comments aren’t worth sharing to others, and so I don’t share them. Only to find out later on that they were in some ways correct. I find out because someone else would say it, or because the teacher would say it. This really sucks.
I don’t know how to boost my confidence. I don’t know how to be proactive and all that. Siiigh. I don’t even have confidence in my communication skills and language abilities. This really sucks.
They say you’d regret the things you didn’t say more than those that you do. Hmm. I guess there’s truth in that. It’s because I grew up in an environment where you had to think about what you’re gonna say before you say it. Make sure you don’t make a mistake or make sure you fully understand it before you react or say/do something. Anyway. I hope I can change this. I’ve been having this problem for a long time now. Maybe the problem now is with me.