Sucky

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I seriously don’t know how I got here. I don’t believe myself to be smart enough, or competent enough, to be where I am today.

I can’t even express myself fully in class. I can’t participate in class discussions without feeling that I’m inadequate and without feeling that what I’m saying is right, or is useful. Does it make sense?

I always feel like my thoughts/ideas/comments aren’t worth sharing to others, and so I don’t share them. Only to find out later on that they were in some ways correct. I find out because someone else would say it, or because the teacher would say it. This really sucks.

I don’t know how to boost my confidence. I don’t know how to be proactive and all that. Siiigh. I don’t even have confidence in my communication skills and language abilities. This really sucks.

They say you’d regret the things you didn’t say more than those that you do. Hmm. I guess there’s truth in that. It’s because I grew up in an environment where you had to think about what you’re gonna say before you say it. Make sure you don’t make a mistake or make sure you fully understand it before you react or say/do something. Anyway. I hope I can change this. I’ve been having this problem for a long time now. Maybe the problem now is with me.

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About Therese

27 years old | Chinese-Filipino | University of the Philippines Diliman | BA European Languages (Spanish major, Speech Communication minor) 2011 | National Chengchi University | MA International Development | Currently working in the logistics industry Gotta live like you're dying ♥ Believe in yourself and don't be afraid to seize opportunities Stay positive

6 responses »

  1. Dapat kasi kegaw ka in class. Copy me. Anyway, even if you don’t share naman, it’s not a big negative if it just happened once this sem. Or twice Basta kung magsshare ka, parang make it into a conversation para hindi ka mahiya.

    “I want to share something that I remember regarding that topic…”
    “I read somewhere that…”
    “But isn’t/doesn’t/… (mean that)…?” -> para kahit mali ka, patanong mo siyang sinabi kaya okay lang ;P

    Yan yung mga ginagamit ko

    Like

    • Well, minsan kasi nahihiya akong sabihin eh! And sometimes I need time to organize my thoughts. :( sanay kasi na dapat alam mo anong sinasabi mo instead of just saying whatever comes to mind eh, diba? Pero onga, I know. I’ll try! Hahaha

      Like

      • HAAA KERI mong magpicture picture kung saan saan pero kung sa class kung saan dapat nga may discussion, nahihiya ka??!?!??! ;_; THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE

        Like

        • Hoy anong sinasabi mo!!! Anong pic kung saan saan?! Tsaka walang connection! Ang discussion gagamitin mo utak mo at magsasalita. Ang pic tatayo ka lang dun at smile. At di mo naman na prolly sila makikita! Sa discussion lagi mo sila kasama for min. 4 months. Pero, di ako kung san san nagpipic na walang hiya noh!!

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          • Fine. True. Pero kasi 4 months tapos never mo na sila makikita kung di mo sila gusto. well, just use the starting words I told you hahaha

            Like

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